FAQ YOU

 Ever since I announced that I'm getting married, I've received a lot of congratulations (thanks!), unsolicited comments from complete fucking strangers claiming to know why I decided to do this ("Deep down, all insecure sluts just want to be loved") and gleefully remarking about how I'll soon be divorced. I mean, I'm not gonna even attempt to get into the psyche of anonymous commenters. I just don't get their deal, and I never will. I can't imagine having the time on my hands to obsess about someone I claim to hate, follow their writing and then going out of my way to try to make them feel bad. (Not that it works, motherfuckers.) Anyway, I wanted to take some time to answer some frequently asked questions.

Now that you're getting married, does this mean the end of your blog?
Good question! I really don't know. I obviously have gone from one D at a time to one D all the time, so consuming men like they're tapas isn't a part of my life anymore. But what people who don't know me don't realize is that most of the sex stories I've written here weren't in chronological order or real time. It was more like picking and choosing some of the more outrageous stories over the past 12 years of fucking. It's kinda like the Weight Watchers technique of putting your soup in the refrigerator so that all the oil and fat will form a layer of scum along the top that you scrape off. So this blog has kinda been my presentation of the scum of my sex soup. I think from now on, instead of straight-up scum shots, I might go a little deeper beneath the surface, and be a little more anthropological. Or not. I don't fucking know.