On Responsibility, Role Models

Everyone has their drunk days. Some of us just don't exploit others' for professional gain.

Source

Comments

[Kevin Neal]

Whoa, that's nuts. How sad. Team Tracie.

[queefah]

what professional gain?

[Mari]

Dude, sorry, but you were NOT exploited. You said what you said, and it just happened to upset a lot of folks. I can understand you being pissed at Lizz for grilling you (because she did grill you - I would have been totally flustered had I been in your position), but what the hell did she actually gain from your self-made humiliation? Really? And no, I am not saying this as a "hater." I have respected you and your work for a long time. I have loved your work since I first came across your blog a year or more ago. I have defended you on Jezebel and Gawker. But this is fucking ridiculous. Take responsibility for your thoughts, words, and actions already. I was hoping that you would be ready to move on from this debacle with this next post, but instead of a "getting back to the business of being Tracie" post, you had to take a jab at someone else to make yourself look better. Low blow and petty. I hope you're just going through some growing pains and can get back to your sharp, witty, honest writing again and soon.

[Mari]

Dude, sorry, but you were NOT exploited. You said what you said, and it just happened to upset a lot of folks. I can understand you being pissed at Lizz for grilling you (because she did grill you - I would have been totally flustered had I been in your position), but what the hell did she actually gain from your self-made humiliation? Really? And no, I am not saying this as a "hater." I have respected you and your work for a long time. I have loved your work since I first came across your blog a year or more ago. I have defended you on Jezebel and Gawker. But this is fucking ridiculous. Take responsibility for your thoughts, words, and actions already. I was hoping that you would be ready to move on from this debacle with this next post, but instead of a "getting back to the business of being Tracie" post, you had to take a jab at someone else to make yourself look better. Low blow and petty. I hope you're just going through some growing pains and can get back to your sharp, witty, honest writing again and soon.

[Mari]

Fuck, I'm sorry about the double-post.

[me]

Sorry, do you mean that the person running the comedy show is exploiting the drunk comedien...or the other way around? Either way, no one is coming out of that with any credit!

[Tao]

And the shitstorm begins.

I don't know SM, sometimes it's best to let bygones be bygones

Your comments weren't appropriate no matter the excuse and this just proves a need to justify oneself by putting another down. "Look, look! She fucks up too!" This is not the SM I know and love.

[Tao]

Please SM, for your fans, don't go down this path of self-destruction.

[Lauren]

OOH BURN!

and whatever so what you said what not agreed with by most, thats ok its opinion , but what this post proves is we all have off days so nobody should cast stones.

Tracie i adore you and I want to say the hair has been extra banging lately

xo

[c]

really? this is how you're going to handle it? wow. grow up and like mari said, take responsibility for your actions.

[miz_dj]

I love it.

[Erin]

Ugh, group FAIL.

[Sara]

Isn't this video supposed to be a sarcastic joke? I honestly couldn't tell, but it seemed like... the whole thing (first girl being mad, Lizz being cutting/drunk) was a big joke. But maybe that's your point? Damn you, 'ironic?-maybe!' v/bloggers!

P.S. SM, you'll always be hilarious and it's too bad so much role-modelly b.s. has been heaped upon you in this manner. I mean, damn, you're not a teacher! And in Tampa that would just mean you wanted to bang your students, anyway.

[RJ]

First of all, Lizz is obviously not drunk in this video. I assume you know this and are simply trying to make a joke out of her joke. But more importantly, what in the world are you trying to justify? Are you claiming your comments about rape were alcohol induced? And, it's one thing to get drunk, but to get drunk before an interview? Classy. Just apologize for being ridiculous on her show and let the water go under the bridge. Or join the discussion about sexuality and feminism in a constructive way, which is best for all.

[Sarah R]

Hmm, on the one hand, maybe dignifying her comments by retorting may not be wise. However, this isn't just a case of "she fucks up too". Tracie and Moe were not mean at anyone or glorying in anyone's embarrassment. This lady Lizz comes across as WAY too malicious here. And as far as I'm concerned her holier than thou preaching on her site deserves this response.

Looking forward to another Pot Psychology Tracie. Stay strong. S xxx

[lolife]

Fascinating. That is really un-funny and she seems like a total bitch. Maybe she could mention one more time how she's not being paid? She was way too serious on the interview-comedy-show-gone-wrong as well. Like feminists can't fuck around and talk shit sometimes?

[Beecka]

Oh Tracie. I have lurked here for long enough, I guess, and Jezebel even longer. I am so sorry that all these geeks are making such a big fucking deal out of this mess. Speaking as someone who lives in another country, this is NOT making ripples beyond NY, if that's any consolation. I think you are a brilliant writer. I also think that we (feminists) take ourselves way too seriously much of the time, and I love that I don't get that feeling from you. I don't know how much it helps to hear support from a random Canadian stranger, but I don't want you to let it get you down. And one of these damn days I'll have to register with Jez too, so I can talk back to the increasingly ignorant and reactionary commenters there, I guess. Thanks for what you do.

[Beecka]

Also, in response to Mari, yes you were exploited. You thought you were there to discuss, in a comedic tone, such subjects as blogging and over-sharing. You did not know that you were being invited for a grilling on your personal responsibility as a role model for young women everywhere with your personal take on some highly controversial issues.
It is also true that you didn't do a great job at keeping the conversation on track, and you said things that you regretted... but whatev's. You are only human, right?

[ashamed]

You really don't get it, do you? How desperate and pathetic. Take some responsibility.

That video was obviously a joke. The bitchiness of the video was a joke. Maybe it wasn't that funny, but you haven't quite been the master of comedy recently.

You were not exploited. Your relationship with Gawker Media, where they pay you by the click to make a spectacle of yourself is the real exploitation. You fucked up in that interview, and that's your fault.

[queefah]

Hey, Beecka, read back a couple of Tracie's posts. She knew what she was getting into and fully admits she didn't prepare.

[Beety]

Wow, disappointing. I'm a long time lurker of your blog and was really hoping you would address the situation-- whether it be in a funny way, an apology, a defense, whatever the fuck you wanted.

But instead, you went this route.

[Dodo]

Slutty, I love you and I think what happenned wasn't such a big deal and you and Moe shouldn't worry so much about. But this 'look, she fucks up too' thing is just childish :(

[Youjackass]

Oh, Tracie. You jackass. The point is not that you were drunk, the point is that you said STUPID shit about rape that was reflective of your past STUPID reflections about rape. Being drunk isn't an excuse- didn't work well for Mel Gibson. You. just. don't.get. it.- and you've clearly taken away nothing of value from this. If you had a ounce of class or compassion for actual rape victims in you, you would take responsibility for your actions and apologize, but you don't and you won't. Saaaad.

[Dodo]

Have you seen this at Salon.com?: http://www.salon.com/ent/video_dog/comedy/2008/07/10/bateman_jezebel/index.html

[Wax Banks]

When you grow up, you're gonna be somebody!! Yeah!

[Mari]

Beecka,

It seems the conversation did start out light-hearted enough, but things took a turn for the serious and fast when the subject of rape came up, which was a subject that everyone involved knew would be discussed at some point in the evening. I don't see how that counts as exploitation, especially in the context of Lizz supposedly making a buck or profiting off it somehow. It was a situation that went very wrong, and none of the parties involved (and yes, that includes Lizz) came out looking very good. Yes, we all make mistakes. You're right that Tracie is only human; now if only Tracie would see it that way.

P.S. - Also, who is really profiting more from this - Lizz Winstead or Nick Denton?

[Dodo]

Sorry if you can't see the full link, it's http://www.salon.com/ent/video_dog/comedy/2008/07/10
/bateman_jezebel/index.html

[Youjackass]

No one forced you to drink that much, Tracie. No one held a gun to your head and made you say what you said. "Exploited". Ha-you invited people from your blog and Jezebel!You made this bed, and now you're whining about it? SAD.

[sarah]

I always feel weird commenting on personal blogs of people I don't actually know, but I feel obliged to step in. Whether or not she got anything at all from this besides blog hits, Lizz Winstead did exploit Tracie and especially Moe. She knew she was making them uncomfortable, she refused to drop a touchy subject, she taped it, put an edited version of said tape on a really popular blog, and then talked about how terrible these two people are for drinking at an event with drinking in the name and saying things that she felt were inappropriate. If she had never posted those edited videos/pulled the offensive quotes (some of which, even without context, were kind of funny), no one would have known about what happened except for the people there.

I say this as someone who didn't really agree with what Tracie and Moe said.

[kat]

This woman's Tourette's phrase of choice seems to be "I'm not getting paid."
Thank the Lord she's not a hooker.

[meagain]

Ugh, well from my point of view, I love that you are unapolagetically you. I'm sorry these douche-bags hold you to some higher ideal because you're in the public eye. Not everyone has the misfortune of having something they say in a moment of drunken vulnerability recorded, picked apart and regurgitated all over the internet by sad vultures. Kudos for staying strong under these strange and annoying circumstances.

[diabolicalpnthr]

All I have to say is OH SHIT.

I would have done the same thing. It may be childish, but it also takes balls. And for that, I salute you.

[speedymarie]

Hahahaaaa. I agree with RJ above. This is obviously a joke, and also, what point are you trying to make? Who's exploiting what now?

[highdaze]

I pretty much think the whole thing is ridiculous. I may not agree with everything that was said, whether it be your comments on rape or Lizz's comment saying "you're lucky you haven't been raped" with a sarcastic bitchy tone, but I feel most bothered by the fact that you're being told you're a "role model" when I have yet to feel that you've ever said, "DO THIS! DO THAT!"

I think that you're a great writer, humorous and confident in who they are. The downside is, when you put yourself out there, people will always attack and try to bring you down.

But whatever, people are stupid anyway.

[Catherine]

I've also been happily lurking until now, but this Lizz character is truly annoying. Whether or not she's joking in this video, it's not particularly funny and I really don't like it when people totally manipulate in interviews. I probably would have posted the video too!

[ef]

You're having a tough week, kiddo. Hang in there. And I would have totally posted that drunk Winstead footage because I think it's important to show that she's a bloody cunt, and factor that in to peoples perception of the night in question. Also! Can't wait to see this blossom intpo a lucrative book deal ala Emily Gould. Same goes for Moe.

[jack]

You must be tired.

[I am a lurker]

well, we have this in common;

if the horse is dead, you might as well beat the ever loving hell out of it.

[rantersparadise]

She's actually really funny!

I never post here either-but she was being bitchy...you made very good points that would have developed if you were writing them-which makes sense as you are WRITERS, not TV personalities...

[ky]

Who cares, move on. Love your writing usually, but the best way to get something dropped is just to move on from it. Eh, wish people would stop putting you on a pedestal too so then they wouldn't cry about being disappointed and about how you weren't the slutastic role model they fantasized you to be.

[AT]

Whatever. Fuck the haters.

Most of these people don't comprehend that the internet is NOT that big of a fucking deal. Tracie, perhaps you are acting somewhat immature by posting this, but I know I would post this, and all of these holier-than-thou, we-looked-up-to-you bitches probably would too.

[JA]

Fuck Lizz!

[BZ]

TEAM TRACIE...first time poster!

I've been sitting on the sidelines reading all the comments via here & jezebel and I just feel like bish please!!!

The point is we've all been there and done it...spoken after drinking a weee bit much. Then it starts getting worse because we are not been in a comfortable enviroment. It sucks but its reality!!

I don't feel you need to apologize to anyone..you are who you are and that is beautiful! Isn't this why we live in the USA and not IRAN or UAE. If we all acted the same & responsed the same ....what would we have to talk about?

[forrealz]

Love you SM. Abortions, STDs, rape and all. What's with all this, "Oh, THAT taboo is too taboo!"

I don't get it.

Just keeping doing your thang, lady.

[mariaaaaa]

So where was Lizz's plum?

Oy vey... I have purposely not listened to the interview or read anything about the debacle beyond what Tracie's posted on here. I have enough drama, hurt feelings and misunderstandings in my life as it is. That said, since this is a personal blog I think it's an entirely appropriate place to be petty, snarky, vindictive or whatever.

[nakedbitch]

another first-time poster here...and tracie, i think you are awesome and definitely would have posted this video myself. you guys may have been wasted and ridiculous that night, but lizz pushed you and then went way too far and was way too self-righteous in the aftermath. we ALL do embarrassing shit and you shouldn't be made a pariah because of it! now let's get back to tales of period diarrhea, because i have it bad right now.

[alicia]

"You were not exploited."
Umm, WHAT? Lizz picked some "choice" clips and quotes and called them out on shit that at the time she was just laughing along with, like nothing. She didn't present the full interview on HuffPo, which was certainly misleading. Sorry, Lizz is a b and Tracie and Moe were being themselves.
Am I weird for totally loving and embracing their inappropriate sense of humor?

[You're Kidding, Right?]

Dude, you were not exploited. Stop blaming Lizz for what happened that night. It wasn't her fault. For chrissakes, take some responsibility for what you and Moe said. People are fucking sick of hearing about you being the victim in this. Let it go and move on.

[jenny]

Hi Tracie. This is the first time on your sight. You know whats funny about exploiting others' for professional gain ... I found your personal blog because Lizz mentioned it in her post about you and Moe.
Thanks Lizz.
I thought she was terrible during your interview. To me it seemed like she was competing with you guys. She wanted to be the cooler chick and wanted to make you guys look bad. You guys were representing new younger feminist and she was feeling a bit over the hill.

[Lucy]

I'm with Becka - Enough already, who gives a shit? You guys hang on to every word she types (speaks) hoping she screws up to make yourselves feel better. Get a life bitches. I don't give an earthworms fuck about this rape garbage - Can we get back to the dick stories and good times... Love ya to bits & pieces SM move on dolly nevermind the hags..<3 <3