I have no use for virgins—I prefer an experienced dude. But when it comes to vibrators, there's no way I'm taking sloppy seconds. However, when I saw this '60s-era "massager" at the Avenue A flea market, I couldn't resist owning a piece of sexual history.
I had no intentions of using the vibe, but I still asked the seller to plug it in to see if it worked. The woman wanted to charge me $10, and I figured I could talk her down if it was broken. She was an older hispanic woman and our language barrier was making our transaction rather difficult, to say the least.
She plugged in the vibe, turned it on, and nothing happened. She broke into a huge smile, which is the exact opposite reaction one should have when they have a dead vibrator. I was confused.
"Ten," she said, putting her palm out for cash.
"But it doesn't work," I replied.
"It works! Look!" she placed the lifeless vibe in my hand.
"It's not moving," I said, as I fiddled with the switch. She nodded and smiled. I could see this was going nowhere. Finally, I agreed to take it for $5.
I think it was a bargain. It's one of my best thrift scores of all time. The vintage design of the box looks so awesome sitting on my shelf that it almost gives me as much pleasure as a real vibrator does—well, sort of...not really.
thanks for reminding me that was under my bed...
virgins suck bad!
Posted by: MK KUNST | August 23, 2006 at 09:47 PM
Haha...this was the second kind of vibrator I used b/c i found it in my grandma's garage. It only worked over panties but it was seriously fucking crazy. Ahhhh memories....
Posted by: marisa | August 23, 2006 at 09:50 PM
It's great that (since it was the 60's) that the box screams vibrator, yet completley pretends to be a "massage" instrument.
Posted by: Darren | August 24, 2006 at 12:04 AM
My parents had one of these, but a later model, with heat. Kind of funny to think of that, now. They said it was for sore shoulders...lol
Posted by: AtlanticVamp | August 24, 2006 at 10:37 AM
I love the old vibrator ads where the woman is holding a phalic, plastic vibrator against her neck.
Oh yeah. A faux dick is what you want to work the kinks out of your neck. *chuckle*
Posted by: Neocon-pincher | August 24, 2006 at 10:54 AM
Bwaahaha - I love the adjectives "deep and penetrating". Yeah...she's talking about her shoulders. Uh huh.
Posted by: Susan | August 24, 2006 at 02:26 PM
Virgins do suck! I had a lapse of judgement many years ago and got the "Oh I can train him to do exactly what I want!" ha.ha.
He also had a small pencil D..ugh.
His dad did work for a cosmetics company and i got a lot of free stuff, so I did score big in one way!
Posted by: brandy | August 25, 2006 at 09:44 AM
it's an infared heat massager, it's not supposed to vibrate. just thought i would let you people know that,
Posted by: killmidwesternhipsters | August 25, 2006 at 02:13 PM
And virgins suck (dick) more, cause they ain't letting you touch the poon. so you guys are wrong about that too.
Posted by: killmidwesternhipsters | August 25, 2006 at 02:18 PM
no, the instructions on the box said it was supposed to vibrate but it also had an additional option for heat massage. you can kind of see it on the top of the box in the picture. it says "massage with or without heat."
Posted by: slut machine | August 25, 2006 at 02:24 PM
I love that it's made by Oster, the people who makes electric hair clippers. Good to know they were spread over several markets back in the day.
Posted by: toonsNtunes | August 27, 2006 at 11:41 AM