That's Frigid

Paris Hilton’s new gimmick is that she claims to have sworn off sex for a year [via Fleshbot]. I think it’s a terrible move on Hilton’s part. Judging by her performance in her sex tape, she could really use the practice.

As far as I can see it, there can only be two reasons why this girl would say she’s giving up sex for a year:

1. The infection is that bad, that it will take a good 12 months to clear up.
2. She has an album to promote.

Claiming she subscribes to the abstinence-makes-the-heart-grow-fonder school of thought, the heir head claims that she doesn’t just give it up, and that one-night stands are "gross." Maybe I'd think so, too, if I had one with Tom Sizemore.

She says that she wants to take a sexual sabbatical in order to “rediscover” herself. To me, that translates as, “My clit is so overused that I need a break in order for the callouses to retreat.”

But for real, I kind of believe that Paris doesn’t enjoy sex all that much. She clearly seems to get off more from getting headlines than getting head.

This point may be so moot, but I really hate Paris Hilton. I’m in the Lohan/Richie camp. There seems to be a lot less pretense there. We all know what they’re about, and I can relate to that slutty, cokey, boozey behavior. Afterall, my love for LiLo goes about as deep as her throat.

Comments

[b]

how come no comments on this? brilliant. i love the lohans and the richies too. much classier, if that's possible.