Taxi Cab Confession

I’ve bumped uglies with dudes in a number of unconventional places. Coat-closet coitus and bathroom blowjobs are a dime a dozen with a gal like me, but bouncing up and down on a good friend’s dick in the back of a New York City cab remains one of my few sexual first-and-only’s.

Illustration by Tom Forget

Because of my relationship with this particular D, I know that the Friends With Benefits crap can work without any emotional complications. It’s just that the participants have to reside on different continents. Said friend lives in England, where he spins records and does various music things for a living. And while he’s a decent DJ, he’s actually a better lay. From what I can tell, he puts a little more effort into the latter.

On one of his more recent visits, we were engaged in a booze-fueled, sloppy makeout sesh in the back of a taxi stuck in 5 am gridlock on the Williamsburg Bridge. “Jussss lemme stick it in forah bit,” he slurred in my ear.

I half-heartedly protested, temporarily taking a new stance on what kind of girl I am. That stance lasted about 10 seconds. After all these years, he knew me better than that. The only other argument he had to make was, “Come on,” before I was peeling off my jeans and hopping on to his lap.

What I've learned from all of this is that the easiest, least offensive way to fuck in a cab is for the boy to sit directly behind the cabbie, and for the girl to sit on his D, and ride ‘em reverse cowgirl. But, uh, despite whatever drunken discretion we attempted, our driver was on to us.

As the uncircumsized D was slipping in and out of my V, I leaned forward, and poked my head through the window of the partition and directed the visibly annoyed cabbie to get off at the next exit. I chuckled, (oh, who am I kidding? I was retardedly drunk, so it was more like a cackle) and thought, well, now we’re all getting off.

Comments

[Ashley]

I wouldn't like to fuck in the back of a cab. Poor cab driver.

[SITC]

"now we're all getting off?" Carrie. Bradshaw.