Vodka Tonic

So it’s been established that I like getting fucked, but I also like getting fucked up. I like booze, drugs, weed, poppers, whatevs. Each substance—or combination of substances—comes with its own type of delicious cloudiness. Sucking Cocktails is my attempt at defining those types by identifying the effects they have on my judgement.

So I’ll start with vodka tonic—a mainstay of my bar/club libation short list, as it won’t really stain my outfit if some drunk jerk knocks into me. (Or if I’m the drunk jerk and am unable to hold my glass without tipping the fluid onto myself.) Since VTs are both light and refreshing, they go down easier than, well, me on a bass player I guess. When drinking vodka tonics:

This greasy guy with pock marks,

several rounds later,

is the same as this greasy guy with pock marks.

And that, my friends, is how the ugly dudes get laid.

Comments

[Erin]

That's not a greasy guy with pockmarks, that's the greasy guy from Battlestar Gallactica with pockmarks!

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[Danno]

That's Edward James Olmos, famous actor and director. He's a celebrity and has a shitload more money than you do. That makes him ten million times better than your poor unkown ass, for those at home keeping score.